This post shall serve as a comp of a bunch of reecent thoughts and experiences.

so, what’s been going on. Well I’m taking classes, they’re fine, two of them I like, one of them is ok, and two I dont really like going too all that much. as it stands, it’s 2:33 in the morning, I think I’ve adapted to 4-6 hours of sleep a night. I’m kinda borred. It seems like at this age a lot of men choose some THING to deovote an extremely large portion of time to that has minimal returns. I’ve heard tetris, many I know in the bay play pool, and others work and pour money into their cars. I dont have any major hobbies as of late. The most reecent song I leaned on guitar was a while ago, and I havent come upon others I’d like to know all that much. I was going out with this woman for a bit which was cool. Went to see “Oedipus” from the school’s theater program. Pretty fun modern take. That ended though, c’est la vie.

I’ve been thinking about opinions and choices a lot at the moment. To me they opinions seem a bit strange. Every individual person is living in their own little world. If you dont know about something, fuctionally it doesnt exist. Add that to small sample sizes and it seems like opinions dont matter all that much, they are a reflection of what you know. Free will? Yeah probobly. There are times where I wish I saw less, was acoustomed to less.

I feel somewhat content and I kind of hate it. I dont really want anything frivolous I need effectively nothing. aint it awesome when you want something with the burning force of a thousand suns? Idk, the people who are closest to me aren’t very materialistic, but it sure seems like a lot of other people are and maybe they seem happy. When I had my Volkswagen I remember feeling no attachment to it. I worked on it for more than a month and poured thousands of dollars into it (sidenote I reecently sold it to hopefully a happy new caretaker :) and yet, I felt nothing twards it. This seemed wrong. I imagined this perfect character arc where I would fix the car that I had seen so many years ago and it would be MY car. I remember telling someone that it could catch on fire and I would feel really nothing. Maybe it’s hard to have emotions when there’s a goal. I spent a large portion of time problem solving that car, almost excluively. “what’s next” is a syndrome I seem to have. No goal is good enough.

I do have a much larger respect for engineers now. I think I underestimated alabama as a school. It is not very easy, and takes a good bit of effort. Basically any abet acredited school in my mind will conform to some level or bar. Also, NASA, who do you think works at NASA in alabama? Probobly the aerospace grads at Bama, and Mech-e and EE, and others. I think a lot of the “softer sciences” and humanities are hated on too much. Philosophy and psychology are two that I like, but I think there is a need in the world for most of them. The societal narritive focuses on money when it comes to college a lot. Right like, you’re going to devote a good portion of time and money to this thing, dont you want a return on investment? Material payoff? I like the idea of reading more. It sounds beautiful to have the first four years of your adulthood pretty much free to think about the world, history, philosophy, others. I wish I knew more history. I know suprisingly little. Why are things the way that they are? I frankly have no Idea I havent seen enough to say.

I got a little card in the mail telling me about voting. Now the question is how should I approach my vote. As a cynic, or a.. well not a cynic. Obvious answer, but votes are opinions, and opinions are based on what you’ve seen and what problems you have. I got enlisted to hand out pizzas at a pro-palestine rally that I was walking by in boston. I havent researched enough to talk on that subject, but ya boy was broke in boston, and free pizza is free pizza. Biden was apparently doing some sort of fancy event with james taylor across the street which the police and secret service were guarding. In that moment he didnt seem like a man of the people. Cynisism is poison in my experience. I have no idea who I will vote for. alabama has been a red state.. for a while, this does not deter me from voting. My ideal cantidate is someone is of the people by the people for the people.

What will happen in four years? I hope I’ve learned a lot, not just engineering, more of the world, more myself. I’m becoming more ok with finding out rather than following a script. That’s more fun aint it? :)